|
[15 Jan 2006|01:33pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 indifferent |
] |
life has a funny way of screwing us over...at least thats what im prone to believeing and rather thinking...tho perhaps we only feel this way because the intentions of a change in ones life is merely the result of a necassary self and life adjustment...however painful a change may be it is always done with the intent of a postive outcome later on...perhaps not so open and out there like we would love these justifications for change to be but they are there non the less...hmmm...interesting...i am my own psychologist...life...funny...
peace, love and tranquility
yours truely,
mother russia
|
|
|
[22 Aug 2005|12:37am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
content |
] |
Artist: Carlos Varela Lyrics
Song: Una Palabra Lyrics
Una palabra no dice nada
y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo
igual que el viento que esconde el agua
como las flores que esconde el lodo.
Una mirada no dice nada
y al mismo tiempo lo dice todo
como la lluvia sobre tu cara
o el viejo mapa de algun tesoro.
Una verdad no dice nada
y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo
como una hoguera que no se apaga
como una piedra que nace polvo.
Si un dia me faltas no sere nada
y al mismo tiempo lo sere todo
porque en tus ojos estan mis alas
y esta la orilla donde me ahogo,
porque en tus ojos estan mis alas
y esta la orilla donde me ahogo.
________________________________
Translation
A word does not say anything
And at the same time it hides everything
Just as the wind that hides the water
Like the flowers that mud hides.
A glance does not say anything
And at the same time it says everything
Like rain on your face
Or an old treasure map
A truth does not say anything
And at the same time it hides everything
Like a bonfire that does not go out
Like a stone that is born dust.
If one day you need me, I will be nothing
And at the same time I will be everything
Because in your eyes are my wings
And the shore where I drown,
Because in your eyes are my wings
And the shore where I drown
|
|
|
[08 Aug 2005|08:23am] |
lost...
may you dance with all the angels my sweetest Xenia 10/7/2005
|
|
|
[22 Jul 2005|02:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
I wish there was no such thing as money...
Life would be easier for me...
and then i wouldnt have to worry about it and my ill management of it...
oh well...
such is life...
|
|
|
[20 Jul 2005|06:43pm] |
RUSH LYRICS
"The Trees"
There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas
The trouble with the maples
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade
There is trouble in the forest
And the creatures all have fled
As the maples scream 'Oppression!'
And the oaks just shake their heads
So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights
'The oaks are just too greedy
We will make them give us light'
Now there's no more oak oppression
For they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe and saw
|
|
|
[16 Jul 2005|05:59pm] |
"Silence (Delirium)"
Give me release
witness me
I am outside
give me peace
Heaven holds a sense of wonder
and I wanted to believe
that I'd get caught up
when the rage in me subsides
In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe
Passion chokes the flower
'til she cries no more
possessing all the beauty
hungry still for more
Heaven holds a sense of wonder...
I can't help this longing
comfort me
I can't hold it all in
if you won't let me
Heaven holds a sense of wonder...
In this white wave
I am sinking
in this silence
in this white wave
in this silence
I believe
I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free
|
|
|
[09 Jul 2005|07:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
disappointed |
] |
HIM LYRICS
"And Love Said No"
And love's light blue
Led me to you
Through all the emptiness that had become my home
Love's lies cruel
Introduced me to you
And at that moment I knew I was out of hope
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
for dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Love's icy tomb
Dug open for you
Lies in a cemetery that bears my name
Love's violent tune
From me to you
Rips your heart out and leaves you
bleeding with a smile on your face
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
for dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
And love said no
And love's light blue
Took me from you
And at that moment I knew I was out of hope
Again
Kill me
I begged and love said no
Leave me
for dead and let me go
Kill me
I cried and love said no
Kill me
I cried and love said no
And love said no
|
|
|
[09 Jul 2005|03:52pm] |
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang Soundtrack Lyrics
Artist: Lyrics
Song: Hushabye Mountain Lyrics
Caractacus:
A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain
And your boat waits down by the key.
The winds of night so softly are sighing--
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain
Sail far away from lullaby bay.
|
|
|
[28 Jun 2005|10:46pm] |
ok this entry is dedicated to Sarah, the wonderful Sarah, the goddess of all that is fucking awesome...Sarah...queen of Massecheusets. If ya'll don't know her your messed, cause you are nothing without sarah...
Sarah you fucking rock my vodka socks!!!
So orientation was cool...met some cool ppl, got a possie already...the G-Money Hustlers!!! YEA heehee thats our call baby...we are aka two queers, a hottie and a bunch of girls...damn straight baby!!! So yeah it was chill, fucking hot as hell tho, boring as ass the things they made us do but the louau was awesome stuff and staying up till 5 talking about closer and comming up with the group name...haha yeah good stuff...two hours of sleep that night...long day...babyshower last night, and reggie last night lol, and now im in CANADA BABY!!!! cool stuff...im out
ciao
|
|
|
[18 Jun 2005|08:58pm] |
|
all i have to say is WOW...thats it...
|
|
|
[15 Jun 2005|03:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 contemplative |
] |
ok so today i officially resign the title of Highschool student. I suppose this should be a happy moment...i suppose in a way it is...but theres also fear lingering inside, fear of having to grow up even tho in most ways i think i have. But its that title, its that freedom, its that comming fully into your own that scares me. I dunno things are ok now in life i suppose...family is still as irritating as ever but thats the excitement of leaving this place even though i won't be any where to far away. Friends are good i suppose but i miss the canadian ones the most right now, the ones who have always understood me having grown up with me for the most part, having experienced the hell with me. These christians here at my school are good ppl i don;t undoubtedly regret being here to much. Though first semester was a hatred period i soon had to learn after recovering from mono that life is not all about how annoying some blonde bimbets may be, its about finding the good in the pile of bad and running with it, stretching it as far as you can. Recently i had a conversation with a friend online who was fearing the loss of a dear friend of hers. Not death ppl don;t get this wrong, its just the pure absence of that person, they are leaving for two years and she can feel it already. I told her she could only love something for as long as she had it and once it was gone she had to learn to let go but certainly never let go of the love that friend bestowed on her, that renewal of faith, love and trust.
Who am i now in life to understand what being there for someone really means? I mean i have been for many ppl and some have for me yet i feel like i am still foreign to this concept. Everyday a new trial or self corrupting person crosses my path and what the fuck am i supposed to do? I am a train running off the tracks deeper into the woods with every person i meet or let in. I used to think this was a bad thing but i am learning that that train is not only going off the tracks and into the woods, it is in fact searching for a new track, a new destination. I have several new ppl in my life now, easy do they come but will they stay? Are they part of that track that is to be found?
I have never been good with letting ppl in...or even being comfortable with ppl but for some strange and unknown reason a recent friend has joined the train and i feel nothing but comfortable with that person. Its weird, we understand each other, both of us in a way still struggling with life and still confused by the ppl that are in our lives. Yet we have found that comfort zone with each other, neither pushing each other away, instead slowly letting each other in on who we are. Its nice and im thankful to that person and all the other ppl i have recently meet and enjoyed life and time with.
Though peace is a far fetched concept i am comfortable now knowing that it is close, and every so often i can taste it.
~forever in debt of societies corruption~
|
|
|
[08 Jun 2005|05:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
IM DONE WITH SCHOOL...YAY...NO MORE HIGHSCHOOL HOW EXCITING...SUMMER BABY!!!!
thats all i have to say...:P
|
|
|
[05 May 2005|10:37pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Techno - dunno why haha |
] |
Yeah so i finished AP Art today, thank God, man that stuff is just plain tedious, im sure to fail but we shall see what happens. Anywho...nothing much has been going on lately, all life is a general bore, easter was fabulous as always, had fun, ate a lot, the usual, and well school is school and i can't fucking wait for it all to end...move on to greater things lol...yeah so thats it. Gypsy king concert comming up at the end of this month YAY FOR THE GYPSY KINGS BABY!!!!...ok im out
peace
~forever in debt of societies corruption~
|
|
|
[24 Apr 2005|11:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
So im feeling mentally challenged these days...thats pretty much all i have to say...for lack of spirit in wasting your precious time...
damned...condemned...
the world a blaze unwilling
a cry like the sound of human flesh tearing itself apart
forever lost,
forever denied,
always falling,
never loving serenity to its fullest degree
caring for no one yet caring for everything
spit up heart,
swallowed throat,
confusion,
confused,
confessing...nothing...
dreading everything...
harmed,
harassed,
alarming distaste,
buried,
burned,
...
flushed.
|
|
|
[24 Apr 2005|12:21am] |
Movie: Hotel Rwanda
Artist: Wyclef Jean
Song: Million Voices
African Chorus throughout song:
-----------------------------------
Ni ryari izuba, Rizagaruka, Hejuru yacu,
Nduzaricyeza ricyeza.
[When will the sun rise again?
[Who will reveal it "to" us again?]
-----------------------------------
Rwanda, Rwanda,
Yeah Rwanda, Rwanda.
They said: "Many are called and few are chosen,"
But I wish some wasn’t chosen
for the blood spilling of Rwanda.
They said: "Meshach Eshach and Abednego,
Thrown in the fire but you never get burned,"
but I wish that I didn't get burned in Rwanda.
They said: "The man is judged according to his works,"
so tell me Africa, what’s your worth?
There’s no money, no diamonds, no fortunes
on this planet that can replace Rwanda…
Rwanda Rwanda
Yeah, Rwanda Rwanda
These are the cry of the children
Rwanda Rwanda
Anybody hear my cry?
If America, is the United States of America,
Then why can’t Africa, be the United States of Africa?
And if England, is the United Kingdom,
Then why can’t Africa unite all the kingdoms
and become United Kingdom of Africa?
Rwanda Rwanda, Rwanda Rwanda
Yeah, yeah.
These are the cries of the children, yeah.
Can anybody out there hear our cries?
Yeah, heavens cry ... Jesus cry.
Lord, did you hear us calling you?
Yeah, Rwanda Rwanda,
Lord, did you hear us calling?
Can you do something in Rwanda?
Rwanda Rwanda, Rwanda Rwanda
I’m talkin' 'bout Jesus; talkin' 'bout
Rwanda Rwanda Rwanda
Talkin' 'bout … talk'n 'bout ...
Talkin' 'bout … talk'n 'bout ...
I wanna play my guitar for Rwanda....
I just finished watching the movie, hotel Rwanda. Im not sure i've ever seen such terrible things, tho i have watched many horrific holocaust movies. The problems we face in our lives daily feel so minimal in contrast to what ppl in third world contries go through everyday, compassion burns yet i can do nothing or don't try at all to do anything, i suppose its prayer we should rely on. I have faith that there is a purpose for all and everything God allows his ppl to suffer through and us the sinful ones to watch. This film allows us to reflect on our lives, on how we carry out our days taking all and everything for granted never stopping to think that perhaps a thank you here and there to our Lord would be the right thing to do. When someone hands you a gift you say thank you, we thank our parents for their lessons, discipline and life yet we fail to thank the one that has given us all of this and more. You must think about the most precious thing in your possession and wonder and give thanks to the one that has given it to you. He asks for nothing yet we take everything. God is our salvation...i pray we find our way to him, allow him to care for and love us as he has always done. This is an entry i do not believe i would have had the courage to write perhaps a year ago...in fact i often question God and his intentions putting blame on him instead of taking responsibility. I am not saying all of this to come across as a spiritually just and pure human, im am merely saying this comming out of my heart, mind, spirit and soul as a corrupt child of God. Falling down is only the first step to rising again. May we all fall and rise together under the glory of our Lord.
|
|
|
[13 Apr 2005|10:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
GOING TO WASHINGTON DC...FOR FAG SENIOR TRIP...NO WORRIES I SHALL MAKE THE VERY BEST OF IT, WHY AM I SHOUTING...I DON;T KNOW...OK I BETTER GO TO BED SEEING AS I HAVE TO GET UP AT 3 IN THE MORNING TO GET TO SCHOOL BY 4 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW HORRID...CIAO ALL AND HAVE A FANTABULOUS WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!
|
|
|
[26 Feb 2005|12:31am] |
A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM
by Edgar Allan Poe
(1827)
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
-- THE END --
~think about it kids...
|
|
|
[21 Feb 2005|05:01pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
contemplative |
] |
ALONE
by Edgar Allan Poe
(1830)
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
-- THE END --
|
|
| Paul Simon Lyrics |
[15 Feb 2005|10:17pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
calm |
] |
America
"let us be lovers we?ll marry our fortunes together"
"i?ve got some real estate here in my bag"
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and mrs. wagner pies
And we walked off to look for america
"kathy," I said as we boarded a greyhound in pittsburgh
"michigan seems like a dream to me now"
It took me four days to hitchhike from saginaw
I?ve gone to look for america
Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said "be careful his bowtie is really a camera"
"toss me a cigarette, I think there?s one in my raincoat"
"we smoked the last one an hour ago"
So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
And the moon rose over an open field
"kathy, I?m lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I?m empty and aching and I don?t know why
Counting the cars on the new jersey turnpike
They?ve all gone to look for america
All gone to look for america
All gone to look for america
|
|
| THE USED LYRICS |
[15 Feb 2005|06:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
The Used - All that i've got |
] |
"All That I've Got" - watch music video or listen to songs at www.theused.net/
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
Off guard, red handed
Now I'm far from lonely
Asleep I still see you lying next to me
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..
I need something else
Would someone please just give me
Hit me, knock me out
And let me go back to sleep
I can laugh
All I want inside I still am empty
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I guess, I remember every glance you shot me
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat
I squoze so hard
I stopped your heart from beating
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got
It's all that I've got!
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
I'll be just fine
Pretending I'm not
I'm far from lonely
And it's all that I've got
And it's all that I've got
Yeah, it's all that I've got
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
soulredemption's journal